You Said Time Heals, But There's Not Enough Of It
by Erohwaremac-eht
Summary: Eh, some drabble in the perspective of Brewster, about the girl he loves and why he could never be with her. I just got City Folk and was inspired by the emotionally distant, mustachioed bird. Just a simple little oneshot. Please R R


_ "I'll just have the usual" _I heard the familiar voice drift through my cafe. It took a seat at the bar in front of me. The light white cotton dress floated over the tall chair, slender legs dangled far from the ground. The familiar scent of her brown hair, musky jasmine, it flooded my nostrils. I didn't even need to look at her face for reassurance about which blend to pour.

I finished drying the glass in my wing and began filling it with a hot bitter house blend, the steam fogging my spectacles obscuring my vision. I thankfully took this temporary blindness as a gift as I mixed the sweet milk into the sharp brew. I placed it gingerly on the saucer and passed it over to her.

_ "Piping hot's the only way"_ I instructed her.

_"Thank you" _she replied and took the cup to her mouth. Outwardly I treated her no different than any other customer. I keep records of what every regular likes, it's not unusual for me to know everybody's "usual." Sometimes I can even predict when they are going to come in. Freya's a morning person and likes her black italian roast at about seven thirty. Biskit comes in, in the early afternoon for his bold sumatra with cinnamon and nutmeg. Melba prefers her pre dinner cup sweetened and light just as the sun is about to go down.

But this one, always nine forty pm on the dot, every day. Always has been, and as long as coffee was still tolerated in her system would this remain. I always figured the caffeine did nothing for her, it was simply about the flavor. It's what brought us together in the first place, our appetites for all that is strong and bold.

She drains the cup and smiles. Another satisfied customer. She pushed the saucer towards me, I place it under the bar. _"...Thank you" _I say to her. Everyone's patronage is welcome at The Roost.

_"Brewster... we've been through so much. Is the distance really necessary?" _she asks, sad tired eyes surveying me over large black frames.

_ "There's no special treatment here" _I say, turning away, cleaning the glass. Her glass, the glass lucky enough to have had her lips pressed upon it for those few remarkable seconds.

_"I'm not asking for any kind of special treatment. You know that. But I come in here every day desiring nothing more than to talk to you." _

She doesn't understand. She never did. _"Then you come in here every day only to disappoint yourself." _Little does she know that this is the most I've conversed with a customer in months.

_"So you won't even give me this? We can't clear the air?" _She was upset now, her pitch altered. I had never gotten a glass cleaner in my entire life.

_"I don't think there's any air to clear. Everything is perfectly clear to me, I don't need anything from you. If I'm not mistaken, you followed me here." _I regretted the words as soon as they escaped my beak. They were far milder in my head. The truth is very blunt and I couldn't shield her from it any longer.

* * *

For she did follow me here, to New Bark. I used to live in the city, opening shop in the heart of it's bustle. I was young, it was refreshing. It was the right place for me. It was where I met her. She wandered in just as I had been turning the chairs over after close, at nine forty. She looked a mess but beamed at me asking if she could just have one cup. She practically begged me, and promised to help me clean up the shop after she has finished. I pitted the bedraggled girl, a human among animals all alone. I pushed the cup of coffee over to her, completely black. I expected her to wrinkle her little nose at it and push it back at me. But to my surprise, and delight she gulped it down greedily. Her eyes shone with a newfound vigor and she asked me what she could do to help.

As we cleaned I learned that her name was Daisy and that she had come from an ocean town called Seafoam. She was lively and open, a little too open for her own good. She was loud and boisterous, everything I wasn't. But she was passionate, and thoughtful and intellectual, and I found myself unable to keep from looking at her. Her youthful glow was intoxicating to me. I became drunk with this girl, lost in her stories, drowned in her spirit. I needed more so after we finished cleaning, I agreed to her invitation to dinner the following night.

The next morning when I woke, I tried with all of my might to find a logical reason for the previous night's events to have all been part of some elaborate illusion. I was reserved, I kept to myself, my personal life was very quiet and simple. A brilliant contrast to the hectic world my job took place in. But none the less, I attended her dinner date and was engulfed by her spirt once again, swallowed whole by her being.

Time went on and I was completely, irrevocably and madly in love with her. And any fool could tell she felt the same way. And this was enough for me, I had no need or desire to pursue a romantic relationship with her. I was content to be her companion on a day to day basis. Entering into a relationship with her would entitle her to ask things of me that I might now be willing to grant her. And to simply know her carnally without the relationship previously established would just be unfair and painful for her.

I would never even consider making a move towards a relationship. I had no desire for one, no matter how much I loved her. I knew I would only be setting myself up for failure. All of the things I loved about her, were also all of the reasons a healthy relationship could never be created. Her heart brimming full of emotion, her explosive spontaneous moods. I was reserved, equable and dare I say even slightly calloused.

So the only reason for the strength of my feelings for her, were the traits she possessed that I did not. My love for her was based upon my own emptiness and subconscious desire to fill that void. To fill it with her vitality. Hardly the beginnings of a healthy relationship.

But my lack of advances upset her. My friendship was not enough for her. Finally she admitted her feelings for me in a drawn out emotional confession. It was so like her. I explained why that, despite I reciprocated her feelings completely, I had no desire to act on them. This only upset her more, and told me I was wrong and that a relationship could be forged. That I wasn't trying hard enough and that if I was more willing to take risks then we would be able to spend forever together.

Perhaps she was right. It hardly mattered, my mind was made up. I told her I needed some space, if only for a little while. Simply to let this settle. However she gave me none. Every day she tried to convince me I was still incorrect and soon began to attempt to hurt me. I was tolerant for there were brief shining moments in which she was able to compose herself and she was the Daisy I first fell in love with. Those little glimmers of the past made it worth it for me to stick around. But at the end of the day, it was never enough and she made this clear to me.

Eventually the pressure became too much. I no longer wanted to be responsible for her heart any longer. It hurt me too much to see her hurt like this. All I wanted to do was make her happy, but I could not grant her the one thing that would have brought her happiness.

So I closed up shop, and left with very little notice. Although I loved the city it became too much for me. Its walls were closing in around me, I couldn't take the pressure of the ever growing business. It took the passion away from my work, and I had forgotten the reason I opened the place in the first place. Then with very little fuss, I moved to the nearby town of New Bark, a quiet little hamlet. I decided that this was the best place to recuperate myself. I could remember why I became a barman, why I began roasting my own blends.

Business was slow and quiet. People drifted in and out, I kept to myself a lot of the time and it was nice. It appeared the residents here liked their coffee served strong, black and by an emotionally distant bird. No need for pleasantries, no need for attachment not even small talk. It was a beautiful arrangement. Some people would become very lonely this way, not me. I wasn't built for true interaction.

My paradise was shaken simply by the light footsteps of a new customer one chilly November evening. I looked up and was met with large sad eyes framed in thick black rims. Blue button down dress, red shoes, brown hair pinned back with a white flower. Daisy had come tumbling back into my life, she found me.

I had never forgotten her, nor had I lost any feelings for her. Despite her childish behavior when we were close, nothing she ever did could make me think less of her.

_"Would you care for a cup of java. Only two hundred bells, and it's well worth it" _I give her the classic speech.

_"You only charged one hundred in the city" _she said with a smile. She took a seat at the bar and passed her money over the counter. I took it. Taking special care to not let her hand graze mine, which I'm sure was her intention. I prepared her drink of choice, I hadn't forgotten. I could tell she wanted to talk and I would let her. She finished her drink and set the cup down. She surveyed me with her large eyes and took a deep breath.

_"Did you leave because of me?" _she asked tentatively. It was a difficult question and I didn't quite know how to answer it. _"If it was, you can tell me. Please just be honest, it's all I want." _

_ "Not completely." _I replied. _"It was more of a pressure circumstance. You added to my stress, but you are not at fault at all. I am more than willing to admit the confusion I must have instilled in you. So, I am very sorry for that." _

_ "And I'm sorry I drove you away. Please, I am more than willing to change. I just wish you would give me another chance. I can be whatever it is you need me to be, anything. Simply name it. I know we can make it work-" _

I had to stop her. _"Please" _I said putting my wing up. _"As moved as I am by this gesture, I have to explain my piece to you. Despite the space you generously allotted me over these several months has been progressive, absolutely nothing has changed. We are still very much the same people we were when we first met, and you attempting to change would not make a relationship any easier to create. I fell in love with you for who you were and I never want that to change. You are perfect exactly the way you are. It means more to me than I could ever tell you that you're willing to alter yourself for me, but would never want that. I could never ask you to tamper with perfection, for Daisy, that is what you are to me. Perfection. You are everything that I could ever want and hope to achieve, but alas that is why it would never work between us. You are the culmination of all my desires and aspirations, you are the person I could not be. And so my love for you, despite its truth and purity, is based upon an idea. That is not a sturdy enough foundation to build a healthy relationship. It would be unfair to you, and would only end up hurting you in the end. So, despite the fact that it appears I am denying you, in reality I am sparing you from the pain that would be bound to come from a relationship with me. I was simply not created for connection."_

It was silent. I could almost hear her heart breaking. It made me sadder than anything to see her like that.

_"I've... I've never stopped loving you Brewster..." _she began, feigning tears.

_"Nor have I ever stopped loving you, and I don't believe I will stop. But consider this your chance to find someone new. Now that I have made it clear there will never be anything but friendship between us. You have no reason to wait for me."_

_ "What if I want to? This isn't fair!" _she shouted, getting up from her chair.

_"I never said it was Daisy, and I truly hope you don't. You wouldn't be fair to yourself if you did. The only thing I want is for you to be happy..." _

_ "Yet you wont take any means to aid that desire!" _she yelled, interrupting me. _"The only thing that is going to make me happy is you! I came here for you, only to be told that you can't be with me because you're scared. Love is all about taking risks and branching out. If love was a safe thing people wouldn't be as grateful to have finally found it. Love is an adventure and you're treating it no differently than brewing a damn cup of coffee. Like as if it's this mundane activity that happens everyday. It's just too exciting and new for you to know what to do with it. You're too shaken by its impetuous nature. I imagined someone as intelligent as you could understand that. You're going to miss me Brewster, I will be right in front of you, but you will miss me." _She walked out and left me speechless.

She was correct, if I were a different kind of person, someone more like her, I would be with her. It was own fault, but there was nothing I could do to change who I was.

She came in every night, at nine forty and drank a cup of coffee. She was polite but didn't speak to me of anything. She treated me as a stranger, and this didn't bother me. I knew it was her way of coping and if that was what she needed I was there only to accommodate her. Just as I predicted, my feelings for her never altered. Just being able to see her once a day was enough for me, even if we didn't speak.

Over time she became more polite, smiled more and seemed generally happy around me. It was wonderful to see joy in her eyes again. I didn't know wether the social separation was what helped or perhaps she had moved on from me. Whatever it was, I was glad her demeanor had improved. It made it far easier to wait on her.

* * *

_"It didn't have to be like this Brewster" _Daisy said to me.

_"I know that. I set myself up for this. There is nothing to blame anybody for and if there was, all of the fault would belong to me. I harbor no ill towards you Daisy...in fact my feelings haven't changed or lessened. But I've never regretted my decision to remain nothing but your friend. I hope that you believe me when I say that all I want is for you to be happy..."_

_ "I know" _she said very quietly, leaning across the bar towards me when heavy footsteps echoed through the establishment. She pulled away and got off the stool. Apollo appeared at the foot of the stairs.

_ "Have you had your coffee already?" _he asked her, joining her at the bar ordering one for himself. _"The usual thanks."_

_ "The fine espresso, in just a moment. I roasted the beans fresh." _I began to make his order. Apollo came in every day too, but rarely at a constant time. Whenever he needed a jolt, he kept strange hours.

He had also been what was changing Daisy's demeanor. She met him shortly after moving to New Bark while pursuing me. Feeling vulnerable after I told her I could no be with her, she became close with Apollo. As time went on they entered a romantic relationship. As she fell deeper and deeper in love with Apollo seeing me became easier.

It didn't upset me, seeing them together. I could have had her, it was my own choice for now allowing her in. I never gave us that chance, and I stand by my decision.

_"Sweety, we're going to miss the movie, we need to catch that bus..."_ Apollo began.

_"I'm right behind you. I'll meet you at town hall" _Daisy replied, sweetly kissing him. Satisfied, Apollo left. She turned towards me again. "We're engaged, Brewster" she said softly, a hint of sadness ringing in her voice.

I said nothing at first. _"...Are you happy?" _I inquired.

_"Uh, ah, yes. I've..I'-I've never been happier" _she stammered. She didn't expect such a calm answer from me.

_"Then, congratulations" _I said with a smile. As long as she was happy, I was happy.

She just looked at me, slightly stunned. _"Well, I just thought you had the right to know. I better go, don't want to miss that movie." _She moved towards the door. _"Same time tomorrow?" _

I nod. _"Daisy..."_ I begin.

She immediately spins around. _"Yes?" _

_ "I miss you" _I whisper towards her.

_"Well then honey... I couldn't be happier" _and she walked up the stair and out the door.

I smiled, I felt a great weight lifted off of my wings. I had finally done what I wanted to do for the past several years. I finally made Daisy happy.


End file.
